Growing up is tough. A dear friend would say it is optional... but being a single male, it is a utopia he can pursue. For lowly mortals like me, growing up is a mandatory function lest you think the white of the straitjacket brings out the colour of your eyes.
Yet another dreary afternoon in the apartment is making me pine the auld lang syne. Well to be honest, the flu virus too did its bit in taking the joie de vivre out of my afternoons. Or maybe Iam suffering the hitherto just heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder.
So here I am staring out into the grey environs around my apartment, trying to feel inspired. A couple of incidents in the past two days made me realise how far I have come from the safe haven that was home and maidenhood.
How you took life for granted and thought everything would go as planned. Till the first shock came... your bluster and confidence of youth helped you weather that storm as well. Nothing, absolutely nothing came in the way of that optimism, you were so positive it was almost obscene. I remember a professor of ours telling us how our ideals will come to a naught once we join our chosen profession. I can still recall the vehemence with which we opposed that idea and thought him a fool and a killjoy for trying to dampen our spirit. If only we knew better. Nah... it won't have changed a thing. Because we knew we could change the world.
Then came your first job, and life opened the flood gates. The smart ones swam, the feeble sank, people in between the categories, floated. But not all was lost. There were family and friends who threw you the life jacket and brought you aboard the proverbial life boat. You thought you would sail. And sail you did till the next storm caught you unawares. For some it was yet another crappy job, for others a bad relationship and for yet another set, both. Somehow you got saved... thanks to those friends and family.
The next level, however, upset the boat, literally. And that's when you actually began recognising the growth pangs. When you realised that the boat wasn't steady anymore. There was just too much baggage for the vessel to handle. Some threw the baggage overboard and held on to the mates. Others decided to swim away instead. Some partings were bitter, others sweet.
Now I have had a taste of all that and more, and while they seemed to weigh down upon me at the time, I am a bit wiser because of all that experience I have gained. And the grace and blessings of a higher power. Heaven knows I am still imperfect ;) but i did learn some valuable lessons.
Of the ones I learnt through the good times and the bad, the lessons I try to live up to are:
1) Count your blessings
2) Don't be afraid to say sorry and mean it
3) Don't lie to yourself
4) Be true to you true nature
What I also realised in these last few days is how far I have moved on from the times I shared with people who were once friends. There's no rancour, just the wistful feeling wishing things had ended on a cordial note.
Anyhow. Lesson# 5 has been that you can't decide for people. They decide their own actions...
Lesson#6 Bless those who hurt you, because they made a huge contribution in making you who you are.
What I still need to learn among many other things is to cut myself some slack and remind myself I am not perfect, at least not yet. :)